Uninspired

I am severely uninspired.

I want to be excited about looking for a fulltime job where I work from home. I want to be excited about my small business earning income again. I wanna be excited that I have a really awesome attorney who is waiting for me to get myself together.

I want to be excited about seeing my therapist again. I want to be excited that I am days away from restarting chiropractic adjustments.

I can objectively see so many wins, but I just don’t FEEL the wins. What I feel is that I’m not doing enough and that I still have a next thing to accomplish and a next thing after that. Then, I’ll be free to go back and finish those other things that used to be next things.

Also, why have I put so much f****ng pressure on myself to get a job? Seriously. Financially, I’m good! So, why am I in such a rush to go back to trading time for money? Peer pressure, maybe.

I think I have a pretty decent balance of freedom and responsibility. I have a balance that works relatively well for me.

How many inspired to create, but I want to be creative. I have so many freakin’ ideas — so many that are outside of sitting in front of a computer. But, when I work on something that’s not related to web development or my portfolio, I feel guilty about it and the joy, the spark evaporates.