DC’s Black Adam Movie Review for People with Short Attention Spans [May Contain Spoilers]



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Last night, I saw Black Adam (who appears to be more Hawaiian or Latino…definitely Pacific Islander) at AMC 18, and I want to talk about it. Here’s my review written in the way my brain works that probably definitely contains spoilers.

  • Can you smell that The Rock has zero chill in this movie?
  • Bro…that body count tho.
  • “The gates of Hell are filled with the screams of his victims.”
  • Hawkman? How about Helluva-Chin-Man!
  • ‘Alright alright, I’ll take a nap, but NOT because you want me to!’ *pouts*
  • ‘Oh ok, you speak perfect English now? That’s what’s up.’
  • When you’re 23 seconds into your tactical 3D presentation, and your homie starts punching bad guys in the face.
  • ‘But seriously, who’s gonna pay for the damages to this apartment? And why do we still live here?’
  • Aldis Hodge made Hawkman look cool like what Khal Drogo did for Aquaman.
  • ‘Hey, there’s this great new thing called a door.’
  • Is that a cassette player? Wait, what year is this??
  • Is that a sonic jet with vertical takeoff and a detachable multi-passenger submarine craft? Wait, what year is this??
  • Go for Hawkman’s wings and mace work. Stay for the post credits scene.

In all, I would recommend this movie to a friend. Sure, it’s packed with a little bit too much DC Extended Universe new territory to not have more exposition or origin info. But, it’s entertaining. The characters, scenes, and fights look great. The movie even has some well-placed humor. Lastly, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson pulls off a very believable antihero. Pause.

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