Porcha

In my neighborhood, lives a woman who seems to be always sitting on her porch when I drive past. The kids and I named her Porcha and assigned her an occupation.

Based on the hours that Porcha occupies her front porch, we’ve decided Porcha is a professional Front Porch Security Guard. Because of the snow, we’ve now witnessed her and all of the major forms of inclement weather: wind, rain, extreme cold, and snow.

The kids and I act out scenarios to show how Porcha might spring into action with her blanket, smartphone, and cigarettes to protect a front porch from would-be trespassers. She’s consistent and hard-working. She rarely takes breaks. Any homeowner with a front porch would be happy to have her.